healing doesn’t mean that damage never existed, it means the damage doesn’t control my life anymore.
When I say that I have been on this ‘journey’ let’s call it, for quite a while, I really mean that there is a place where everything begins. The beginning, and the end.
I don’t remember ever feeling anxious as a child or teen. What I do remember is being awkward, mouthy, and rebellious. If you were to tell me not to do something, you better believe that I would do it anyway. I think a lot of kids were\are like that.
I should have clued in at some point that my impending anxiety and mental health were just years around the corner.
Over the last three years in particular my journey brought me here, to where I am today. I have struggled with body image and self-esteem for so many years that when I experienced an intense mental breakdown in January of 2018, at the ripe ol’ age of 32.5, I got to the point of not giving a CRAP about others opinions anymore. It was the pivotal moment that I decided it was time to make some serious life altering changes.
Without writing my life novel here, it brings me to today. With how media portrays self-care and mental health advocacy ( which may very well be complete strangers), I am here to tell you from my platform…or really wanting to shout it from the roof tops…YOU ARE WORTHY OF THIS LIFE!
It’s okay to not be 100% in love with yourself (and I dare you to tell me that would be selfish…), it’s okay to take a little white (green, yellow, pink) pill to balance out your hormones and mood swings, it’s okay to stay in bed another day, and it is okay to not be okay.
*call a friend *take a hot shower/bath *go for a massage *journal *sing *dance *walk *exercise *read the bible *start a hobby
I want to encourage you today to believe that this is not the end. I am choosing to believe that I will not be on this rollercoaster for the duration of this life; and neither will you. Your day will come when you make that choice to live. To rise from the ashes and choose life. To understand that you were made for so much more. That the grace God freely gives is yours for the taking. No matter your trauma, your choices, your past….it doesn’t matter. Love is truly all we need. God’s love. God’s healing love.
So today, embrace yourself. Is today day one or one day?